Writing Tips to Ignore

Rule #1:

Start all of your stories with: One day . . . This rule is the most important. Readers don't care when something happens. For example look how annoying beginnings like these are: A) The first day of summer vacation . . . B) The coldest recorded day of December in 2004 . . . Please remember, use one day every single time you are writing about an event because your audience could care less when something happened...and if you start with one day, that just might be true.

 

Rule #2:

Every time something new is about to happen in your story use the word then to let the reader know. Then they will be able to follow the sequence of events easily. Then your plot will not be confusing. Then they will know you have mastered the art of transition. At all costs avoid substituting the word then with phrases like: when the water begins to boil, after you have passed the WaWa, at 8:30, when the wind began to change direction . . because then will work every single time and readers don't really need much more than then.

Rule #3:

When sharing your ideas, thoughts, and opinions always start those types of sentences with I think. I think you will enjoy . . . I think homework is like . . . I think report cards reflect . . . If you write without using I think before making statements the reader might become confused as to who thinks what, I think. Hey, did you see that? If you forget to put I think at the beginning of the sentence it is just as effective to put it at the end, I think.